Getting married is one of the biggest moments in anyone’s life. Most people go into it hoping to only do it once. Our wedding photographers have been to a ton of weddings, and the ones that last are the ones where honest and communication are there. So, before you walk down the aisle, here are a few big topics you and your significant other should have before.
As the saying goes, when you marry someone, you’re also marrying their family. Family relationships can make a big impact on a married couple. Before you join your two families together, talk about what that means and looks like. Are you okay with your parents or theirs living with you? Would you help them out financially if they needed it? How are you going to divide up holidays?
This conversation should happen long before engagement is even on the table, but sometimes people delay hard conversations. Definitely discuss kids before you marry though. Do you both want them? How many do you want? How are you going to raise them? What does child discipline look like to you both? What names are you interested in? What happens if you can’t conceive naturally- what are your views on adoptions, IVF, etc.? While not all of this has to be decided upon beforehand, it’s still a good idea to at least know where your partner stands on it.
Money is the number one cause of divorce. When you marry, even if you keep separate finances, you’ll still be intertwined financially. Things like banks accounts, credit cards, mortgages, credit scores, debt, and more will all impact you both. Before you sign anything official you should both sit down and look at your finances and talk about how they’ll change once you marry.
If religion plays a role in your life it’s a good idea to discuss how it will play a role in your marriage. This is especially important if you and your partner come from different religious backgrounds or have different levels of faith. What religion will you raise your kids in? Do you expect your partner to participate in your practices? Will one of you convert?
This is one people don’t often think of. Home is where you both live, but for some people location matters as well. Are you and your partner open to moving? Where will you live? What happens if you have to move for family or a job? These are all important things to talk about before.
In the past, women would take their husband’s last name when they married, no questions asked. These days, that practice isn’t a given. Many women decided to keep their own last name, and some men even take their wife’s name. Or maybe you’ll hyphenate or create a new last name entirely! Whatever you decide to do, make sure you talk about it beforehand. This is especially important if you’re planning on having kids.
Having these hard conversations before you get married means your wedding day will be a happy one. You can enter your new life with your significant other knowing where you both stand on major issues that will pop up.